Counselling Perspective
Understanding Changing Themes in Children’s Therapy: A Counsellor’s Perspective
As a counsellor in private practice since 2017 and the owner of early learning centres since 1999, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing the evolving nature of how challenges in childhood manifest. Over the years, I've observed shifts in the issues children bring into therapy, reflecting broader societal and educational changes. The way children navigate the world has transformed, particularly in response to technology, social expectations, and the structure of family life, and this is mirrored in the counselling room.
Evolving aspects of children’s therapy
When I first began working with children in early learning centres, the issues that came up most often revolved around socialisation — learning to play with others, managing basic emotions like frustration and excitement, and understanding personal boundaries. As an early childhood teacher, my focus was often on helping children develop the emotional resilience to navigate the early stages of independence, cooperation, and communication. These were relatively simple but foundational concerns, closely tied to developmental milestones.
However, over the years, I have noticed a shift in the themes children present with, especially in the last decade. Today, many of the young clients who come to therapy are struggling with much more complex issues. Social media, academic pressures, and changes in family dynamics have created a set of challenges that require a more nuanced approach.
Children now come to counselling with anxiety, depression, identity issues, and even symptoms of burnout — problems that were once more commonly associated with adolescence or adulthood. The rise in bullying, both in person and online, is a significant concern. Many children are exposed to the pressures of comparison earlier than ever before, largely due to the pervasive influence of social media. They are more connected, but also more isolated, and this contradiction often manifests in anxiety, insecurity, and a deep sense of not being “enough”.
The changing school environment
The school environment has evolved dramatically as well. While schools are more focused on emotional wellbeing and mental health awareness than ever before, academic pressures seem to have increased alongside these efforts. Children today are expected to excel not just in their studies, but in extracurricular activities and social engagement, leaving them with little room to process their emotions or develop coping mechanisms. Standardised testing, a competitive mindset, and a push for early achievement have led to heightened levels of stress in children as young as six or seven.
In my private practice, I often meet children who are overwhelmed by these expectations. They internalise these pressures, believing they must perform flawlessly. Many children develop perfectionistic tendencies and a fear of failure that inhibits their growth, creativity, and emotional expression.
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Skills needed in therapy
The skills children need to navigate these challenges have become more complex as well. In therapy, I often work on helping children develop emotional regulation, self-compassion, and mindfulness. These are not just “soft skills” but critical tools that allow them to manage the intensity of their emotions and the expectations placed upon them.
- Emotional regulation: Children need strategies to cope with overwhelming feelings like anxiety, anger, and sadness. We focus on grounding techniques, breathing exercises, and sometimes mindfulness to help them become more aware of their emotions without being consumed by them.
- Resilience and problem-solving: In the face of bullying or social comparison, resilience is key. I help children learn to see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques are useful here, as they allow children to reframe their thinking and build problem-solving skills.
- Social skills and empathy: Many children struggle with the nuances of social interaction, especially in a world where face-to-face communication is less common. Therapy often involves teaching them how to build healthy relationships, navigate conflicts, and understand the perspectives of others.
- Boundary setting: As children become more connected through technology, the need to set boundaries, in terms of both time and emotional energy, becomes crucial. I work with children to help them recognise when they need space and how to ask for it without feeling guilty or anxious.
- Self-compassion and identity formation: One of the biggest shifts I've seen is the need for children to develop a strong sense of self, independent of external validation. Many children who come to therapy are struggling with who they are, especially in relation to social media’s portrayal of “ideal” lives. Helping them develop self-compassion and a positive sense of identity is often a central focus.
The role of society and families
Parental involvement in children’s lives has also shifted. Families are more aware of mental health challenges than ever before, which is a positive step. However, the pressure to “fix” things quickly can sometimes lead to an over-reliance on therapy without giving children the space to practice their skills at home. Therapy, in this context, becomes a partnership between the therapist, the child, and the family. Open communication and consistency are key to ensuring that the work done in the therapy room extends into daily life.
Moving Forward
As society continues to evolve, so will the needs of the children who go into therapy. What remains constant is the necessity for a safe space where they can explore their feelings, learn valuable coping mechanisms, and develop the skills needed to thrive in a rapidly changing world.
In my dual role as a counsellor and early childhood teacher, I remain committed to adapting my approach to meet these emerging needs, helping children not just survive, but truly flourish in today’s complex society.
By sharing this evolving perspective, I hope to encourage my fellow counsellors to remain attuned to these shifting themes and to continue developing approaches that best support the emotional and mental wellbeing of the children we serve.
Biography
Amanda Dounis, founder of 4 amazing early learning centres (Banbury Cottage, Rainbow Cottage, Little Dolphins, Babyland) all located in the beautiful Sydney, Australia. Director of the Dounis Group and Founder of The Positive Thinking Clinic (Psychotherapy: Hypnotherapy, Counselling and Neurolinguisitic Programming Master). Amanda is also a Clinical Supervisor and Mentor.