Counselling Perspective
By Tammy Reid,
Counsellor & Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie
Self-inquiry can help individuals question and alleviate their stressful thoughts and beliefs through a process called Inquiry Based Stress Reduction (IBSR).
Also known as The Work of Byron Katie, this method involves identifying the thoughts you are believing in any stressful situation and then questioning them. This self-inquiry method allows you to determine whether these thoughts are actually true for you. By questioning your thoughts, you can discover new perspectives and options that are true for you, ultimately freeing yourself from stress. The process includes using four specific questions to challenge your thoughts and a turnaround process to find alternative, positive perspectives.
Reframing control
When things don’t go our way and we can’t seem to get what we want, we would like to change external circumstances, even people at times. We know we can’t control what’s happening or change people, and this can leave us feeling hopeless. This can get us down and we can end up feeling frustrated with life, the people in it, and ourselves. We can judge ourselves harshly.
This simple process will allow you to identify that no matter what happens, you do have the power to question your own thinking about what is happening. Despite what may have happened you can understand yourself, even others. Let’s discover how to do this & do it!
Beginning with self-inquiry
In any stressful situation you can identify the thoughts being believed, and then question them. By identifying your thoughts and questioning them you can inquire into whether or not they are actually true for you.
This is self-inquiry. Rather than asking someone else what to do or what is true for you, you ask you! You have the answers you’ve been looking for and this process gives you the questions and format to discover new options and perspectives that are true for you!
For example, let’s say you text a friend and they don’t reply that day. You could think thoughts like “They don’t like me” and if fully believed,more thoughts will join that one like “They never did like me” “They are talking about me behind my back” and so the thoughts go on. If you don’t catch these thoughts, before you know it, you become lost in a spiral. However, is it because your friend hasn’t texted you back? Or is the cause actually the way you are responding to the situation?
At this point you have an option – to question your thoughts.
The process of IBSR
Step 1: Identify what you were “thinking” during or after a stressful situation:
Situation: A friend hasn’t responded to a friendly text.
Thought: “She/he doesn’t like me”
Step 2: Question the thought using The Work’s four questions:
Q1: Is it True? (Y or N, if No move to Q3)
Q2: Are you really sure that it’s true? (Yes or No)
Q3: How do you feel when you believe that thought?
Q4: Who would you be without that thought? (Close your eyes and see yourself, in that moment, without the thought. What’s it like right now without that “She/he doesn’t like me” thought?)
Step 3: Now reverse the thought using The Work’s Turnaround process:
e.g. “She/he doesn’t like me” becomes “She/he does like me”
Step 4: Contemplate this changed narrative.
When you look back at that situation how is it possible that the opposite thought is true? Find examples of how this could be true.
- She/he said they liked me
- She/he may be working & can’t text
- She/he hangs out with me at school
In this way, you will be able to reframe the narrative of negative situations and move through them into a positive and uplifting way, using the method of IBSR.
Everything needed to practice IBSR is available for free at thework.com, including an app to facilitate the process. Learn more here.
Biography
Tammy Reid is a Counsellor on the Gold Coast, who facilitates The Work of Byron Katie. In 2016, she began to share this Inquiry-Based Stress Reduction (IBSR) process. Now, her sessions incorporate all the tools she has gathered along her journey, and she continues to remain the student, collecting wisdom from everyone she encounters on her path. Her interest is unconditional love and learning how to live it. Tammy has just completed her Masters in Counselling (2025). An Educational Specialist for over 25 years, Tammy works with children, teens, adults, couples, teachers, psychologists, therapists, those in crisis, those who have suffered trauma and anyone who would like to explore the limiting beliefs holding them back from living the life they imagined.