By Shameela Khambhaita, ACA level 2 member

Seven minutes.

That’s the time it took between speaking on the phone to my father, hearing his last words, “I’m tired, I’m fed up, I want to kill myself. Remember I love you. Drive safe,” during the early afternoon of the 4th of September 2005, to finding him at home in his beloved shed which he constructed himself, gone forever. I was too late.

Everything changed in that moment for me. After years in the clinical research industry, part of international teams striving to make a difference for humanity, why hadn’t my father received the necessary support to not give up – what had happened? So many questions circled in my mind.

Perhaps I could not help my father, but I knew there would be so many other people, from all walks of life, who would feel they are in crisis with nowhere to turn and nobody to understand. This was the turning point which started my journey to further my education by completing additional studies, including counselling, towards creating a “support toolkit” as I call it, enabling me to support my clients on their journey.

By combining a person-centred, solution-focused approach, in conjunction with a robust referral database of service providers who could further support clients outside my counselling framework, my practice started to grow, as well as my professional network. As I expanded my client database, working with a broad demographic, I started to notice increasing safety concerns presenting as self-harm and suicidal ideations, predominantly in children, youth and adult men. While I felt confident in developing a safety plan, due to the different ways suicidal ideations presented in my clients, I knew upskilling in safety training was essential for me, my practice and my own wellbeing.

As counsellors, when we hear a client say, “I’m done”, or “I want to kill myself”, how should we respond? Is developing a safety plan enough? What if a client states they have no support system, no family, no real friends, no emergency contact person or next of kin? At the end of the day, our response as practitioners will very much depend on a combination of the training we are provided as counsellors and using our instinct based on what our clients are saying, verbally and non-verbally.

Last May, I was invited by the Australian Counselling Association to take part in the Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST), facilitated by MATES in Construction. Since completing this training in June, I have successfully applied suicide first aid following the ASIST model with several clients, including a 16-year neurodivergent female client at high risk of homelessness, adult males working as tradespersons in the construction and mining industries, as well as individuals working as first responders.

The story of one client has reinforced to me the importance of counsellors being equipped to act and support appropriately when a client presents with suicidal ideations, and to recognise the signs beyond the words we hear.

This particular client initially engaged my services for couples counselling. During the initial session, his body language interactions with his partner alternating between a nervous laugh and periods of silence plus learning about his recent risk-taking behaviours prompted me to ask the question, “Are you thinking of taking your life?” When my client replied yes, and began to cry, the focus of the session immediately changed to safety. I used the ASIST reference tool, provided during my training, which I keep on my counselling desk and a second one in my phone cover, and started to work through the steps in the partner’s presence.

A safety plan was developed, including referral information, which I emailed to both clients as agreed and consented to in session and my clients requested to book another couples session. Unfortunately, the client’s partner was unable to attend the follow-up meeting and the session was changed to an individual telehealth appointment. During the course of this session, my client slurred his speech while crying and spoke about taking his life.

While continuing to stay connected through active communication, following the ASIST model, with the assistance from his partner via SMS, and connecting to the local police in the remote region where my client was located, we were able to ensure his safety on the day in question.

I am pleased to report that he is doing well and has been referred to additional external service providers to continue to support his journey. While he is no longer an active client of mine, I am thankful to have been able to support him on the path to better mental health and wellbeing.

Without ASIST, would I have responded differently? I would say yes. The training provided structure and enabled me to recognise signs that perhaps I would not have connected to suicide. So, what is the ASIST model? Below, Patrick Kukla, Operations Manager for MATES in Construction SA explains:

With the ongoing challenges in the mental health landscape, I strongly believe as counsellors we should be encouraged and fully supported to complete suicide first aid training as a mandatory requirement. In the same way as first aid training, this will allow us to support our professional practice, our clients and ourselves, do you agree?

About the Author

Shameela Khambhaita, Founder and Director of In my heArt - Art Therapy & Family Wellness, is a skilled and caring ACA Level 2 Registered Counsellor, supporting children, adolescents, couples, and families, presenting with a wide range of life challenges, as well as working with individuals from all walks of life, considered high-risk, implementing Suicide First Aid when required.

Shameela’s approach enables her to create an environment that encourages change and growth. Using a person-centred and solution-focused counselling approach, Shameela assists her clients to become more empowered, as she strongly believes that everyone has the potential to create a satisfying life, with support and gentle facilitation, to meet their own specific goals.

Shameela’s professional journey over the years has always been part of healthcare, initially within the Clinical Research industry with foundations in Pharmacology and she has always maintained a keen interest in Holistic Health & Wellbeing because of her family background, personal life experiences, extensive study and training and her passion for life. As a public speaker and MC, Shameela has hosted wellness conferences, seminars, and workshops across Australia, and presented as the keynote speaker at various national events. From April 2025, Shameela will be expanding her counselling service offering, to include individual and group supervision, following the Rise Up Model.