Interview with Kerrie Arthur - Griefline, Counselling Coordinator

When a loved one dies through voluntary assisted dying (VAD), there is often a gap in the emotional tools and support available for their loved ones. ACA spoke to Kerrie Arthur, the Counselling Coordinator at Griefline, about an Australian-first pilot program supporting family members navigating VAD, including their individual and collective grief at the loss of a beloved person in their life. The following interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

ACA: What is the background of this pilot program with Griefline, and what did it set out to do?

KA: Griefline offers a number of services. Our helpline, which operates 7 days a week, provides free support to anyone who is experiencing grief connected to any type of loss. We offer individual counselling programs in NSW and receive referrals for people who have experienced a sudden or traumatic death, which are the programs I work in. They are delivered through single and multiple one-on-one telephone or Telehealth sessions. We also run grief groups for those who are bereaved.

When I was a student, I did a placement with Griefline and I started to notice that a few people were ringing up the helpline who had someone close to them who had accessed VAD. There’s a lot of stigma around it and not a lot of space to talk about that, so it stuck with me particularly while doing my Masters and further placements when the legislation [to legalise VAD] was introduced in Victoria.

Dying With Dignity Victoria (DWDV) have been advocating for 50 years for VAD, and were critical in getting the laws over the line – and they identified a need for supporting people after hearing their stories, through the isolation and complexity of the process. Our organisations were aligned on this, and after a meeting we started the pilot program funded through DWDV. We always had the framework for our support group programs, so we decided to integrate that into a VAD-specific model of support groups. I facilitate the groups alongside someone from DWDV with lived experience.

The pilot program is Australia-wide and aims to provide a safe and stigma-free space for individuals to process VAD-related grief through psychoeducation and support through small groups of individuals and facilitators. A core goal is to help participants in making meaning of their experience and mitigate the impact of that grief. The program offers a mixture of VAD and grief content, which recognises the uniqueness and complexity of it – there are a lot of barriers in place. We want to recognise the duality of people’s experiences in holding multiple emotions. It may be relief; it may be honouring and supporting their person’s choice to access VAD as an end-of-life choice, with accompanying feelings like ‘Why did my loved one leave me?’

Public discourse on VAD often focuses on the person accessing it in question, but neglects the people around them. What kind of stigma are relatives and loved ones facing when it comes to their person’s choice?

KA: The stigma happens on two levels; one, from those who consciously object to the choice of VAD. An example is people who have had to move from Catholic palliative care accommodations because of their choice, or healthcare professionals who hold and express quite strong views about VAD. The second level is perceived; those who don’t feel like they can tell anyone that their loved one is going through VAD for fear of judgment. They’re going through the VAD process as it is, but also have to consider what kind of reaction they may get afterwards. So we get a lot of people who come to the support groups whose extended family members or friends do not know about the VAD decision or process affecting them. We get people who have had traumatic experiences as a result of the process, and in a Victorian context the gag laws can play a part in that. The groups are so important to give these people a safe space to land, to talk openly and freely without judgement, and there are people there who know exactly what they’re going through.

What experiences came up in group sessions and how did people process them?

KA: It definitely varies depending on the group; some may have very similar experiences and others vary greatly. There is a common theme of not having emotional support through the VAD process, and people have often raised at the end of their group: “Where was this support when we needed it at the time?” People feel very alone, and having to advocate for getting the process over the line can be extremely difficult, particularly if there are cognitive issues. There is a lot of anxiety, particularly in engaging in the process towards the end of VAD. There’s also the time element; when we began the groups, some people had gone through the process two years prior, and so had been holding on to that for a very long time.

As a result of this feedback, we have also started offering support for people with loved ones actively going through VAD; it may be at the very start of thinking about accessing it, or someone who is taking the medication in the near future. This is a monthly drop-in group where people can attend and we hold space for them, offer information and support wherever they may be.

What benefits have people experienced through the pilot program?

KA: Fundamentally, people need to be witnessed. We’re talking about a process that is very stigmatised and has a veil of secrecy around it, and there’s not a lot of opportunity for people to have their experience heard. Being in the pilot program normalises and validates what they’ve been through, coming together and hearing what others have been through as well as their own experience, building a sense of solidarity. We had people in our groups who hadn’t told anyone outside of their immediate family, and so being able to have that connection with others who had been through this “out of body” experience is really validating.

VAD brings unique emotional and ethical complexities. As a deeply personal decision outside many people's lived experience, it often stirs layered emotions—disenfranchised grief, fear, relief, guilt, and love. In groups, themes arise about suffering, dying on one's own terms, and reconciling personal values. These complexities can undermine a person’s sense of self; creating space for deep reflection on the experience and the emotions connected to VAD as a mode of death can help clarify a person’s values and beliefs and facilitate an understanding that the emotional and ethical responses they are experiencing are reasonable and normal in the VAD context.

What specific practices or tools did the program use to help participants process their grief?

There are multiple forms; we come together and talk about experiences, emotions and impacts of the VAD process and its related impacts. For one, we do an “expression of grief”, which is a creative activity of 30 minutes where people find other ways to express their grief – through art, writing a poem, a letter, sewing something – this helps foster presence with their grief. We find a lot of people experience cognitive dissonance in rationalising the process, but find their heart is shut out, so this activity helps bring those together in a somatic way. Finding ways to engage in self-compassion or using mindfulness practices are also helpful. It’s not a therapeutic group so to speak, we approach it more from a wellbeing perspective of healing.

We also bring educational components into the group to help participants understand the complex nature of grief, and normalise grief by introducing grief models , reflecting on common reactions to loss, and the importance of acknowledging feelings. We try to let participants lead conversations in an organic way so it works for them. Anything that the group is struggling with as a collective we’ll bring into it, such as sleep. The overarching purpose of the group is meaning making; coming together, engaging with activities, and sharing stories to integrate the experience of loss into their broader life narrative.

What’s the future of the program?

KA: We’re still collecting data, and are hoping to get more funding to expand the program. There is definitely a need based on the steady stream of referrals we’ve been getting. We’ve finished our third group, with another five scheduled for the remainder of 2025. The future of this VAD support group program lies not only in offering emotional support, but also in shaping more compassionate and informed end-of-life care. As participation grows, these groups can provide vital insight into the lived experiences of families and individuals navigating VAD—highlighting the emotional, ethical, and systemic challenges they face. By fostering safe, stigma-free spaces for grief, reflection, and storytelling, feedback on the program has the potential to elevate community understanding and influence policy in a way that honours dignity, choice, and the complexity of end-of-life experiences.

Author Biography

Kerrie Arthur is a qualified counsellor and social worker and is a Group Facilitator and Counselling Coordinator for Griefline. Her own journey through loss has given her a deep understanding of the many forms grief can take and the complex emotional landscape it often involves. Kerrie believes strongly in each person’s inherent worth and autonomy—that individuals are the experts in their own lives and have the capacity to find meaning in their loss.

She co-facilitates a range of support groups, including those for individuals impacted by Voluntary Assisted Dying (VAD), and is a strong advocate for the emotional benefits of peer support. Kerrie hopes these groups help reduce the isolation and stigma often associated with VAD, creating the conditions for participants to navigate grief collectively and foster shared understanding.