What inspired you to be a counsellor? Would you change your decision to be one? Why or why not?

I was a bit of a terror as a teenager. I got up to mischief, which caused my parents a lot of grief. I went to the school counsellor (mostly to get out of class), and I didn’t feel particularly understood. I decided then to become a counsellor because, with the arrogance of a 14-year-old, I thought I could do a better job. Funnily enough, I don’t work with youth, and I admire any adult who is able to connect well with young people. One of my specialisations is relationship counselling, and a few years ago my parents told me that they went to see a relationship counsellor once. I asked what they discussed and if it was helpful – and they said the issue was how to deal with teenage me, and we all had a laugh. They are very proud of me now (and I think a bit shocked I turned out so well). I’m so glad I pursued a career as a counsellor – I adore my work and, while it is sometimes challenging, there is nothing else I would rather be doing. I find it such fulfilling, interesting and sacred work.

What is your current role(s)?

I started my private practice, The Evolution of Intimacy, 18 months ago. I specialise in relationship counselling and sex therapy, as well as individual therapy using the incredible modality Attachment and Internal Family Systems Informed EMDR. I am also the National Chairperson for the Society of Australian Sexologists. We are Australia’s leading peak body for the regulation and accreditation of sex therapists and sex educators. Many of our members have their primary registration with the ACA and we welcome other interested ACA members to consider joining us too; we offer lots of free professional development and networking opportunities as part of our membership.

What are you working on, and what do you love about it?

With the Society of Australian Sexologists, we are organising a two-day conference in Adelaide in September – it’s really fun to research possible speakers and plan lots of fun networking opportunities. I also host a radio show on Cairns FM 89.1 and a podcast called ‘Evolution of Intimacy’. I find it really exciting to interview all sorts of people about sex and relationships, and to talk about such a taboo topic on the radio! Both of these roles give me a chance to be part of a larger community, even though I just work for myself.

If you could give yourself advice (when you were a new graduate), what would it be?

That you will never know all there is to know about counselling. I offer supervision to other counsellors and almost all, despite their level of experience or qualifications, have some degree of imposter syndrome. So just get in there and start offering your unique gifts.

Looking back to your final year as a student (before starting your counselling career), what are the top three pieces of advice you would give?

1. Remember that your ability to be deeply present and warm is the most important part of being an effective counsellor.

2. The therapeutic relationship by itself isn’t enough. Find a therapeutic modality that you really vibe with and delve deep. This will change over your career and that’s great; it’s good to have a few modalities that you know really well.

3. Get your own therapist. Even if you feel you don’t have much to work on, it’s so helpful to know what it’s like to be in the client seat. Even those people without trauma or particularly difficult childhoods have layers of inner work that can unfold with a good therapist. ■